In the midst of one of my Father’s relapses into addiction, he told me that rehab wouldn’t help. I was shocked and confused at this statement but Daniel Bacchus Jr. informed me that rehab was pointless unless he was ready to take the first step. According to most rehab programs, the first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem. My Dad had been down this road before and understood that the healing process couldn’t begin until he first admitted there was a problem.
As I go through the most turbulent season in my life, I am realizing that to get through something we must first admit that we are actually dealing with something. With that being said, my name is Allyn Bacchus and in 2018 my mother passed from Cancer, my on and off 5 year relationship ended , the football team I coach only won 3 out of 5 games, and my younger brother is struggling with health issues. No, I’m not admitting to a addiction but I am taking the AA approach and openly admitting that I am going through a very difficult stage in my life .
By taking this first step, I am hopefully opening the doors to the healing process. By acknowledging I am going through a rough patch in life, I can be more accepting of the feelings of despair, sadness, anger, frustration, heartbreak and hopelessness that have accompanied it. By honoring my truth, I no longer have to try and be positive, put on a happy face, or say everything is okay. I can simply say “this sucks” and reply “of course it does look at what your going through”.
This is a new to me as I, like many, have refused to take the first step in the past. It was easier to minimize, avoid, ignore, justify, blame, sleep, or medicate the things I was going through away. However, I’m coming to see that this approach only shuts down the healing process and forces you to minimize, avoid, ignore, justify, blame, sleep or medicate the emotions and feelings associated with what you are going through away. Lao Tzu said “The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” and I hope the journey out of my dark valley begins with this step; admitting I am going through something.